心向快乐第一季

心向快乐阳光有不可抵当的穿透力，在每天清晨给人带来希望的力量，它炽烈但它又温柔的，它让您感知生命的神奇，给你未来的希望，每一片叶子都是不同的，正如我们每一个人，活出自己的味道来，清楚自己想要的是什么。

才是最重要的。

愿你目标明确，终会如愿。

我们一直在找属于自己的那抹阳光，其实一直在我们身边，只要我们心向阳光，愿你心向太阳，永不熄灭。

心向快乐所谓空谷，有些人想到的是悬崖峭壁，而有些人想到的却是栈道桥梁。

我认为，后者是有希望走出空谷的，因为他没有逃避，而乐观地面对空谷。

人生处处在险境，而要成为最终的成功者，就需要比别人多一份勇气，多一份乐观，让自己的心灵充满阳光，才能迎来人生的春暖花开。

拥有一轮乐观的朝阳，让如明月照花的清光铺满心向快乐老涩的心田。

世上没有绝望的深渊，只有你推开乐观的阳光后恒久的黑暗。

我最敬佩的是沈从文先生，当初在牛棚中暗无天日地生活着，他却淡然地说:“这里的荷花开了，阳光落下来，你若来看……”在这样耻辱的重压下，他的内心竞如此空明一片！

他是个拥有阳光的人，他用心中乐观的阳光照亮漆黑夜晚，也照亮了阴霾的社会，黑暗与绝望蚀不了他肉体与灵魂，他将拥有恒久的灿烂。

我自觉自己也算容易成瘾的人，还低自尊，所以很懂这剧里的痛点。

有自知之明所以不敢碰任何赌毒…比起Mae是好在我没有那么狂躁。

我觉得自己对亲密关系成瘾真的是the saddest thing ever heard.不知道是爱眼前这个人还是单纯需要找个人满足自己的成瘾需求。

更别提找了个直女了，更加煽动自己不安情绪。

听对方说分手之后比起女生会找男生就心里很堵。

从理性角度来看，其实这不能代表任何事，并不是说这段感情是“一时兴起”或者“错误”，只是她本身更容易被男性吸引而已。

但是听起来就很沮丧。

心中某处总觉得哪天必须要面对自己成瘾这个事情，对现在的感情不能百分百投入。

Life is suck.

本来是听说老友记里的Phoebes监制了一部新剧，朋友推荐【英国神经病爱情喜剧】，以为会甜，一口气看了六集，被梅气得吐血，但Phoebes风采依旧。

主线是一个不典型的女同性恋和直女的恋爱探索过程。

不典型是因为梅本身集被宠爱的小公主、复吸边缘的戒毒者、甜蜜奶狗、自我身份怀疑、笑点怪异的脱口秀演员等很多身份于一身。

冲动，多愁善感，自卑，喜欢直女更追求得到直女的快感，但她总能给自己找到借口，也根本不会为别人考虑。

第一集末 梅决定对乔治坦白她习惯把自己置入受害者的场景，偷吃安定是因为乔治让她对自己的身份感到焦虑，和父母关系不好是因为她们把年少的自己狠心赶了出去，害Maggie和女儿lava关系再次崩盘，却只担心自己晚上住在哪。

即使到最后也还在说，我从一个东西转移到另一个东西，并没有意识到乔治是人，第二季如果乔治恋爱脑的劲儿过去了，目测还要有冲突。

直女乔治则面临着其他困境，她生活规律，要求严格。

真的很严格从小到大幻想中的理想生活都是和有趣的绅士结婚生子，孩子的名字可能叫查理、休之类的。

但是当她空窗五年后遇到梅，确信自己爱上了她的同时也有迷茫，当自己一直以来的生活基准线被动摇，该从哪一步开始更改呢。

即使是在英国，突然出柜也并不是一件对于每个人都非常容易的事情。

最主要的是，她还没有准备好接受自己。

很多人相信性向是流动的，但是除了生理取向，乔治更需要的是自己从内心深处接受，多年来理想的生活场景将要有变更。

因为她没有设想过这种可能，所以二十多年的想象此时要转向一个空白的场景，不可能她今天遇到梅，明天就说这辈子我不需要一个男人了，因为此前的理想中，这些异性幻想对象给你带来的心理慰藉，这些感受还是分明的。

这是一个持久而复杂的变更，很难一蹴而就。

乔治有一群婊子朋友，她怪罪朋友们只讲肤浅的笑话不谈深刻的问题，不关心自己，朋友回敬她那你为什么不跟我说呢？

我不知道她对你有多重要。

很多时候我们只需要过好今天想好明天就好了，至于很久的以后，没人能说清。

梅需要依赖，没有毒品就靠爱情，没有爱情或许就靠家人，乔治则说不准自己以后会不会喜欢别的女孩。

【你是我唯一喜欢的女孩】听起来是很浪漫的事情。

乔治出柜其实并没有遭遇阻碍，只是她给自己设下了太多限制。

勇敢站出来做此时此刻想做的事情，面对自己，是最简单的选择，省去踌躇焦虑，略作考量就去选择，直接承担结果。

有时候，不需要给自己和事件贴上严格的标签，生活可能没有想象的那么糟，总要向前走的。

另一边，梅则生活的毫无限制，所以当她进入乔治的生活，乔治的限制都成了她的枷锁，她也要学着成长。

因为在乎所以隐瞒，但也因为在乎所以必须要坦诚相待，共渡难关。

最后一句：乔治手受伤要朋友给梅打电话，手机里存的备注是corn，是本人心里全剧最甜一场戏！！

因为爱你，所以我选择隐瞒我的过去，我变得不那么坦诚，我对你有所保留。

因为爱你，我会在意你的过去，在意你的生活，也因此强迫你参与你所讨厌的戒毒所。

当然，因为爱你，我不能没有你，我愿意为你做出改变，也因为是你，才成就了更好的我。

故事仅仅是关于同性恋的，涉及的问题却普适于大多数情侣。

编剧太善于捕捉和突出表现恋人生活的冲突。

以自己为故事原型并且出演自己是一种绝对意义上的自我暴露。

（指路，b站搜索Mae Martin 短发女孩的约会困境）一位很棒的脱口秀喜剧演员足够的坦诚充足的信任以及良好的沟通是一段健康恋爱的开始。

Yes, I titled my review by using Jeanette Winterson’s biography for reference. It is true if you look it up in Douban, a Chinese version IMDB/Facebook, Feel Good will in the recommendation list as the searching result. In this website, people retitle this show as ‘Drunk in London’. It is accurate to use Drunk to describe the main character Mae Martin’s life predicament. She wants to get on the right path but couldn't help making a mess, she tries to be normal but cannot get rid of the psychological hint that ‘You need to accept you have a problem’, she wants to build up a stable intimate relationship but loses control due to emotional insecurity. But I still prefer the original title ‘Feel good’. It is hard to be normal in this high-demand world, feeling good is enough.The encounterAfter watching the series in one sitting, I can safely say Mae Martin is the second gay girl character I feel myself fall in love with after Anne Lister in Gentleman Jack. (Sorry, Suranne!) She is a special friend being with me in this strange self-isolation period. Can I call it love in the time of cholera? I couldn’t help replaying the scene Mae and George encountering and kissing in the pub. How romantic it is when you find someone in the crowd only laughing at your stuff, getting your point while you’re being ignored by others. England’s rose and the Canadian corn are like a blazing fire and dry wood. It is not all about how a tomboy chase a straight girl and how a straight girl seduce an unconfident lesbian. This is a vibrant start that I bet each girl is longing for. You might have a relatable journey that you are falling for a person who is not of the same clan but you think the fate drops from the clouds and the refreshing relationship will be working between you two. After oversharing with a stranger, you believe you have a bond and that’s hard to find in life.

Things usually happen like that, but most beautiful encounters will not end in well. Five minutes past, Mae and George are standing inside and outside the curtain, which implies George is stepping into her life and will be a part of her story. In fact, it does. This is the most subtle camera structure in EP1. It reminds me of how I met my exes, how we consume each other and how I lost them in the end. I suddenly realise I see my own reflection in Mae’s pupils when she says ‘I am not intense’.

Between normal and abnormalIt is rather to say Feel Good is a dark story than rom-com. At least, let’s say it is a heart-breaking life story dress like a love story. Mae Martin's tribulations she experienced in her career, family, and relationships are the main topics of the show. Before that, I’ve had enough of messy ‘permutation and combination’ style relationships in The L Word. Hetero audience hunt for novelty in LGBT TV drama but ignore character’s daily concerns as ordinary persons. They also have issues of how to repair the parent-child relationship, how to express who they really are in front of their friend who is always in the dominant position. Feel good has a unique texture with life-like characters. Each character in this show is so real. Their witty dialogues tickle my fancy all the time.I can feel the director and the writer manage to keep up a high level of real emotions throughout the show and they capture characters’ dazzling personalities with a brisk pace. In this story, Mae and George are both like premature babies in the incubates, waiting for growth to be big, confident flowers. The director did not portray them as aliens but show strong empathy to care their own inner development. We witness their journeys in pain and sober.My inner journey of watching "Feel Good" is like a roller-coaster.E1: Oh!!! Mae and George are just adorable! E2: Well...I changed my mind. I'd better stand for Mae and Lava?E3: It is a bloody embodiment of "Please never date a straight girl unless you want to date for floods of tears."

Mae is an authentic, awkward, blunt, needy, sensitive girl with forlorn hope on George’s love. In her whole life, she has felt she is not in the right place. There is ‘other place’ she supposes to be. She thinks people are just swapping one addiction for another, while George is her another addiction. My favourite scene is in the EP3. Mae feels humiliated and a bit angry when being told to enjoy the party. Her confession broke my heart for real.‘You grew up rich and white and straight and hot, you won the lottery. Of course, you want to dance. You're surrounded by people that want to fuck you. Of course, I don't want to dance in front of people that would have bullied me in high school. And you are too ashamed to touch me. If you want me to feel confident then hold my hand.’It is not a gay thing. Any underrepresented people could relate to it. There used to be a moment you thought someone in the crowd could see you, but now you found this person knew nothing about your feelings. You notice the intangible huge gap between you. That really hurts. As the representative of straight girl, Binky holds the opinion that ‘birds of a feather flock together’ by bring Mae and her lesbian cousin together. It is like saying ‘Hey gay girl should stay in your small bubble. That is the norm.’ You all know the hilarious result. Two girls hi each other and ‘see you’ soon. I laughed at this stuff not because there is less possibility for two Tomboys to fall in love with each other (on the contrary, they may slag off each other), but shocked by people’ ignorance that they think a lesbian will definitely like another lesbian since your are of the same kind. Come on. We are all human beings having clear love and hate. The gentle satire to some self-righteous people is one of the highlighted moments in this show. Sorry, your norm is ridiculous.

People distorts the definitions of ‘normal’ and fasten it to the minority. I became to realise the reason why the writer did not let Mae choose Lava, another lesbian girl who’s crush on her, even though a lot of my friends stand for them. ‘If you were my girlfriend, I’d make you come in under a minute.’ is the coolest line in this show. Lava is cold but affectionate in her own way. The writer probably wants to break the stereotype that it is easier to love your own kind. I think Mae must bottle a hidden line up: Hey, I cannot love you just because you are lesbian too.Reframe your selfAfter watching it a second time, I changed my impression of George. I shouldn’t have been so mean to her when I watched the first time last week. This time, I see her struggling in her new identity. She hurries so much to put lesbian label on herself by saying ‘I have a girlfriend’ to the wedding photographer and ‘I belong to here. I finger my girlfriend a lot’ to the bartender, in order to cover up her inner uncertainty. ‘Your sobriety. Your gender identity. Is there anything isn’t my responsibility?’ She is facing the greatest pressure in her life. Being with Mae is like pulling up seedlings in her mind to help herself grow, in friendship, and in the workplace. But actually, the key point is not about learning how to be a lesbian. Instead, she needs to learn how to express a real herself, uncover her real feelings to the people surrounded, just like Binky says ‘If you are bothered, just tell us.’ There is another storyline of Mae’s narcotics anonymous meeting. This kind of support group is quite common to see in British/American dramas, like Killing Eve and Flack. As a student with a coaching background, I feel negatively surprised to see team members sitting in a circle and saying ‘I am an addict’ followed by self-introduction. Is it really work to settle a matter by giving themselves psychological suggestion that they still have problems? Or they just gather to find I am not the worst one. In EP 4, Lisa Kudrow hits the nail on the head. Everyone feel better or you feel better when people address the elephant in the room? Every time when Mae suffers a setback in relationship with George, she turns to Maggie and Lava. However, the temporary sense of belonging is self-deception.Like her mother, Mae is a strong, impulsive, stubborn women. But she also has the vulnerable side.‘But you told me you loved me first. That was the best moment of my life. I’m embarrassed. I let myself think that someone like you could be with someone like me. I’m not a boy. I’m not even a girl. I’m like a failed version of both. Why am I such a freak?’ She has so many feelings. What she wants is being accepted as what she is, being stick with a new healthy addiction. That is George. In the last episode in season 1, Mae decides to return to George. The plot seems to quite rush. I wouldn’t say they are the perfect couple and I still doubt the relationship will last. But I would like to regard them as a pair of ‘learning buddy’ in this journey. George is the still and quiet habitat and Mae is the Pac-Man. Story is over. Life needs to go on. They both have too much to learn, not only for love but for lives.Alien they seem to be. No mortal eye could see. The intimate welding of their history. by Thomas HardyOther things I want to addressBesides main characters, each supporting role is so lovely: Phil, Binky, Mae’s father, the bartender, and the bellboy in horror hotel. I love the script! I am especially impressed by Mae’s father. He has the wisdom of affairs handling and can read people’s mind accurately.

"You are still and strong, you wear your heart on your sleeves, you are fiercely passionate." ‘Your young lady must be needing you now. She’s off on her own, adrift in uncharted seas.’He is absolutely one of the best father roles I’ve ever seen.Now I can say I am ready to graduate from Feel Good after finishing this review. Thank you, Lisa, you remind me of the scotch egg I’ve had in Yorkshire. I am glad you enjoy it too. I will probably visit Blackpool to see the beautiful sunset one day. See you guys in season 2!

by Lssiedusky2020.3.31

This story is one of the best twists of tragedy and comedy I’ve ever seen. It hurt my feelings on so many levels... But this pain does make me feel good. I think drugs and death are best friends for a reason. Drugs and death seem to exist in exact opposition to each other, and it's a powerful force that holds you alive. Because you're so so vulnerable. When you quit drugs, you need to find the same strong force that sustains you to live, which is faith and love. When you lose them again, drugs certainly are the biggest, lingering desire to survive that exists in the back of your mind.Fuck, life is fucking bullshit. It's so fucking exhausting. It's funny to say that my feeling is that drugs are at least a choice, but I don't want that choice.I'm still looking for that force to hold me alive, and I still have faith. I can control myself from killing myself as long as my faith is still there, even though I want to die every minute. I've been a bipolar II for many years.（If you know what this disease isAnyway, it doesn't matter.Live fully is to prepared to die at any time. It's enough to have actually lived for yourself. Do not lose yourself for anyone.As Nietzsche said: Life is admittedly a tragedy, so play it as one, with all the passion you can muster.I hope we all have the courage and strong will.(Sorry this is totally RANDOM, I don't know exactly why I want to say it out loud)Bonne Nuit.

这部剧还是很现实的就是无论George怎样维持表面decent 最终还是会被母亲不理解自己 工作 虚伪的人际关系 逼到自己认为自己需要Mae 自己爱Mae 的境地 最终还是没法真的做到靠自己强大Mae就是个没有主心骨的人 什么feel good 谁活着是刻意不想feel good的 但Mae这种行径的人 就是典型的没有主心骨 随波逐流 不愿意担任何责任 过度需求型人格 吸血鬼类型人格 直到把周围人的能量消耗殆尽再换下一个 她母亲对她的评价才是客观的 就是这人永远在逃避自己应该承担的 然后把所有东西归结于性格问题 这根本就是人格问题 好吗 还有戒毒会上Lava评价你丈夫是不对的 他在纵容你 说的就是这个意思 对你好不是纵容你像个傻逼一样 这算是个什么爱情 这就是寄居蟹人格 Mae母亲把她赶出去才是对的 她说从没有生气过 当然了 自己妈生气有什么用 她只是对你失望透了但就是这么一个废人 清醒的Lava喜欢 体面的Goerge喜欢 大家表面上能维持正常 内心还是因为孤独逼迫地自己骗自己 去选择这么一个失败的人吗这算啥爱情 就是长期约炮 这就是现代人追逐的东西吗 大家还是各自修仙吧

# feel good关于关系，交代得非常清楚层次很深完全完全没有被同性题材局限就是人而已这是好厉害的地方Same gender is just a tiny little problem of the whole massiveWe just sort it out4 结束不是爱情，是心里阶段，选择是必然Am in love with u 的确是自己对自己的一种，假设都是伤痛…Kevin这段太棒了 哭崩

才依赖毒品谁不是等一个救赎啊——宗教性都上来了结尾get back together停得正是时候！

完美以及mae真的很cute

前期觉得乔治自私，后期觉得梅太过分了，但这也是这部剧好看的地方，真实.真实得像是看到了我和身边人的影子，就好像我们都自以为的付出和爱其实最爱的只是自己，其实每个人内心都不是那么光彩，甚至有点残破不堪，爱和不堪是可以同时存在的，每个人都有自己的问题.后期梅崩得有点厉害，我一边站在旁观者的角度为她着急，一边又理解她为什么会一点一点的放纵，其实前面她说人的瘾是一直存在的，不过是从一件事转到另一件，就看得出来她的内心其实一直在逃避，不稳定性和依赖感极强，重蹈覆辙是意料之中的事.所以她也没法给乔治安定的感情，她自己都得先治疗好自己的问题.至于乔治就稍微好一点点，或许跟她成长的过程比梅顺利一些有关系，她虽然刚开始也很别扭，但可以看到她在不断的努力还有意识到自己的问题并去修正而不是逃避.第六集她说她不应该选择容易的路，而是应该扛起梅的包袱，那一刻我明白她是真的爱梅了，比我想的要多很多.我理解梅，但她的自私还是很伤人，伤害梅和拉瓦，所以和梅在一起会很累，是持久战，拉瓦说的没错.一口气看完了第一季，我真的希望梅可以真正认识和面对自己的问题，希望她们可以好好的. 感慨一下里面的人都好好啊，乔治的室友和梅的老板，包括一开始不能理解的梅妈妈，后面也知道她为什么总看起来那么mean和自私，其实她是真爱梅的人.这部剧还是不错的，另外还有一点要夸夸，能够坦诚并沟通的关系真好，我们都不是完人，但能做到沟通和坦诚，至少是珍惜这段关系并努力变好的表现不是吗.能够一直坦诚，就是极其了不起的事了.

她其实是需要被人保护的 外表帅气内心脆弱的像只小绵羊🐑特别能够理解她的焦虑 不安 依赖可能有时候像是一种投射 和父母的关系和喜欢的直女怎么相处(这种相处模式有些消耗乔治)和lesbian怎么相处(lava在某些时候还是挺迷人的，不过生气打翻碗的时候还挺吓人的)和异性怎么相处 ，要知道在某些异性恋男性眼里只要你是个女孩，就可能是他们的猎物 所以不存在纯粹的异性好友 (mae和那个男人只是，在逃避问题)